Yay! for school and getting knowledge

I know it's not the most inviting title, but it is the truth. I am just gonna shoot from the hip here and then go back and read, hoping that I have expressed everything the way it is in my head. I don't get a lot of time these days, so I kinda just have to roll with it.
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I love my school! To be more specific, I love what God is showing me everyday!! I love waking up before the sun (those of you who know me well....go ahead and breathe. I had to catch my breath too). I love that there is this cute little chapel just outside my dorm building that I can go into at any time and just pray, or sing, or shout, or whatever else! I love walking across campus and seeing a dozen or more people I have just met and greeting them as old friends. I love my professors. I love my God fearing roommate who sits and prays with me over the concerns of our lives and of our friends' lives. I love the library (again, friends, breathe! Laura in a library? and liking it??).

I could go on and on and convince you that life is just peachy and that nothing of consequence ever happens, but I will halt here for now. Life is pretty peachy, but I think it has more to do with desire and outlook and worship life than with actual circumstance. Reality is that I am not passing any classes right now. Reality is that I hurt my back last week loading the last house junk into the truck. reality is that a couch was dropped on my foot that same day and I still can't wear shoes. Reality is that I desparately miss my church and it's occupants. Reality is that my dad traveled from Montana to Seattle but is not going to make it to see me here in Portland.

But what good is it to fret over these things that won't last but a day? A definition of Worship (Shachah) is to turn toward God...even when life "sucks". To give everything to God; to turn toward Him and trust in Him. I know in my own life it seems harder to worship when I am sad, but it seems that I have had a misconception of what it is to worship...to truly worship. I mean, I already have grasped that worship was giving everything over to God, but for some reason it has always been stifled in light of difficult circumstances. Recently things changed a bit.

As you know by know, I have been moving. I knew about it and just how hard it could be...potentially. So before beginning on this endevour I picked a couple verses to stand on and claim through the duration of the move. I picked the words of James in the the New Testament vs. 2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverence. Persererence must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The other reference I kept close was, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again:Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will gaurd your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7. Everytime I could feel that things were getting overwhelming, I would just speak these words over my heart and remind God that I was claiming them. Even though things were hard, it didn't feel really hard. My body was exhausted, but my mind was clear. Even after hours of intense labor, the joy of the Lord was still coursing through me. (I don't say this to boast about myself, but I will boast about my God! The only reason I didn't lose sanity was because of God. He accomplished all this, not me. His Spirit prompted me, and my hope is that He was glorified through it all.) Through all of this, my worship life seems to have been blessed. As though, by going through all this and perservering, my faith has been built up. Imagine that! (duh, Laura, that's exactly what the scripture says.) Yes!!! HA! God is awesome!

Okay, so back to the point. Worshiping even though we don't feel like singing, dancing, etc...it doesn't matter. Singing is not where the worship is. Dancing is not where the worship is. Worship is where, in our brokeness, our pain, our everyday life, our confusion, our happiness, our every-possible-other-kind-of-situation, we turn to God and still give Him everything; our whole heart.

Not saying- I am sad and don't feel like worshiping. Instead "God, I am sad, but I trust You and I love You!" Not - my body aches, so I am just going to sit here and hope no one makes a big deal about it. Rather "God, I hurt, and yet I love You, You are my everything, I love You more than anything, even in this pain." Turning to God, not away. Saying in our hearts, "YAHWEH! Everything that You created for me to have and be, I give back to You! I want You to be my everything."

I hope that we will all be challenged to really worship God. To turn to Him. All worship is for God. It is not so that we can feel better about ourselves. Worship is our offering to God and God alone.

Love and peace

"When the song is kicked out of you, bleed Shachah" Living Worship