Dreaming

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed it was June and I had not even started to think about my garden! Since we depend on the garden for food production, this was incredibly distressing. I woke up feeling like I had failed my family...even though it was just a dream! haha.

I started building a pallet wall around the bales, but the weather turned rainy and cold...and I ran out of materials... so I haven't finished yet. 

Well, I have good news...It's not even January. In fact, my straw bales are still covered in inches of snow.  Nice to know my subconscious is working ahead for me though. I just wish it was stop using fear tactics as motivation! Doesn't it know LOVE is much more motivating?

There are so many things I love to do, and because I have so many hobbies, I can't always keep up with all of them at the same time. There's music, canning, sewing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, couponing...and on and on. So, I started keeping certain hobbies for certain times of year. Sewing is more on an as per need basis while crochet is reserved for when the temperature starts to dip and I want a project to do that will also keep me warm. Canning is "usually" after a good sized harvest, but also if there is a really good sale on chicken... But, now that I think about it, gardening actually gets the largest share of the year, from planning in early and mid January, to cold weather planting in the sun room in late Feb/March, to warm weather seed starting in April, and full on transplanting in May/June, caring and nurturing throughout July and harvest in late July/August, to cleanup in Sept/Oct. Haha, That means I only take about 2 months off from that hobby! No wonder my sleepy brain is distressed, I haven't thought garden-y thoughts for nearly 2 months now.

Fortunately, when I do start thinking garden-y thoughts again, I will have a wonderful workspace to do it in. At the end of this last harvest season, my thoughtful husband built me a large gardening table for the sun room. It is positioned directly in front of a big window and at the perfect height for seedlings to get the sun they need to grow. There are shelves underneath for storing pots and tools and we put in a plastic shelving unit for my trays, seeds, and soil additives. I am so grateful to have a dedicated space for gardening this year.

We made it out of an old hollow door that was left in our garage and 2x4s from our kitchen demo project

Maybe my subconscious isn't trying to scare me. Maybe its very excited and didn't want me to sleep either!

~Simmer down now, Subby, time to go back to sleep, we'll look at seed catalogs in a couple weeks~

Ah, Thanksgiving

Its a quiet Tuesday morning in the Fodey house and I am sipping my coffee.

My brothers dogs have come to visit for the week, raising our household dog total from 1 Yorkie, to 2 Yorkies and an English Bulldog. I have been so happy to host my "niece" and "nephew" and presently have two yorkies laying on my lap and the 55lb bulldog next to me sawing logs in a doggie bed half her size. Its cozy, and for the moment, everyone is getting along.

This can't last though. My coffee cup is now only half full and the slightest movement to get up will set into motion a series of events. Let me set the stage.

Our yorkie (T) is an only dog. He has a high level of anxiety around his cousins because he wants to play SO much, but the other yorkie (J) doesn't like to play with him and the bulldog (B)(who is big and has lots of teeth) chases him around the house. His cousins are used to each other and have a nice bond, so when the J is running away from T, B thinks her little brother is being attacked and rushes in to defend him. J gets away and T is made more upset by not being included in the pack. So, then T starts to bark at J and B any time they do something that he thinks is wrong, much like a tattling 6 year old whose older cousins won't let him play with them. This goes on and on until they are all too exhausted and poop out.

Back to my dilemma. The moment I move to get more coffee, J will move to get off my lap, T will bark at him for....I don't know....some puppy offense. J will bark back, T will growl and then B will jump up from her nap, a little confused about the disturbance, but assuming her tiny brother is in trouble, will chase T off. Bark, bark, bark, growl, growl, bark....

Ah Thanksgiving. The time of year where family comes together.

UH OH!

Adopt Baby Fodey

Safari colors and Elephants! :)

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby locally. Well, "in the process" meaning we submitted our application months ago and and are just waiting for our turn to hop in the "pool" of parental candidates. So, how does a couple keep their enthusiasm high when they haven't heard anything from their agency in months? We work on our nursery and get to work collecting the baby things we will need.

Because getting into the pool will require many meetings and paperwork and a large amount of money paid to the agency, it will be no surprise when we finally get into the pool. From there though, we could get a call at any moment. So we recently decided to take some of the stress off by getting a lot of the baby things we will need now, that way we can focus entirely on our new bundle when he or she comes, rather than, "Eeek, we don't have a car seat for the ride home!"or, "I sure wish we had put the crib together before now..."

I am a planner. It is no secret. I like to have a plan...for everything! I.E. my wedding: I had a timeline mapped out for the family and helpers so everyone knew what was happening at what times and for what durations. Alas, as my uncle pointed out, I had not included bathroom breaks! Next time!!! (j/k). Anyway, my point is I like having a plan; it helps me relax. So here I am, no baby in sight, but surrounded by baby items and pinning to my "baby care" board like nobody's business.

But it wasn't always like this. Although we made the decision to adopt 7 months back, and put our application in 4 months ago, just one month ago I was not willing to even look towards the baby section in stores, let alone go into them. I felt like, "that isn't for me. Not yet, that is for expectant mothers and I am just adopting. I'm not pregnant. I'm broken. If I go in there, I will feel like a faker, like I am trying to fit in to the moms club, but am not one." So, I always made sure not to drive my cart anywhere near the baby section of any store, that way I would not have to hear those words ring through my mind so loudly.

That was my reality until one day a lady heard that my husband and I were adopting, and that we didn't know when for sure it would happen. She looked at me and said, "You know this is your pregnant time, right?" I shook my head and gave a rather quizzical look, so she continued, "You are expecting a baby. You don't know anything about your baby yet, just that you will have a baby! You may not be carrying him or her in your body, but you are expecting."

This was a shocking thought to me. Here I hadn't been letting myself even go into a baby section and this woman is telling me I am "pregnant." I pondered on this for about a week. My mom didn't have a car right then and asked if I would take her shopping. We ended up at the Walmart super center and since she was going to take a while, I told her she could find me in "house goods" later. I had every intention of going there, but my feet took me to "infants" instead. I looked at bottles and pacifiers and a storm was raging inside me. "Get out! You don't belong here! Someone will see you, you faker!" and "But she was right, we are expecting. Expecting parents prepare for their baby. I do belong here....

I do belong here!"

AND, that's when the tears started. And they didn't stop for a very...long...time. I filled my cart with bottles and pacifiers and bibs and outfits and blankets and and and... Then another thought came: I can have a baby shower! Even though we don't know if we will have a boy or girl, we can still have a shower to help us celebrate and prepare for the baby we are expecting. I was overjoyed....and more tears (honestly, I have tears just thinking back to this moment) and a completely new excitement welled within me; an overwhelming sense that we are expecting!!!!

From that time, the challenge has been to keep that anticipation front and center. Physical pregnancy helps with this, I think. There are the raging hormones I have read about. And the ever changing size of the baby bump. There is the kicking from within and the food cravings and the sickness. I don't have any of that. But I am a planner.

I set some goals of a weekly thing to accomplish for our baby. It started with a huge haul of cloth diapers. Next I was able to find a crib. A few friends gave us a play yard, a stroller, some bottles and toys. Last week I acquired a crib bedding set and mobile as well as some adorable clothes. Today I will have a rocking chair. And each time something new comes in for our baby, that excitement and anticipation grows. I have the names we have chosen for our littles written down so I can pray for them; a visual reminder, if not a physical reminder; that we are expecting and we are getting ready.

Another thing we are doing to keep up the enthusiasm is we are continuing to fundraise. The adoption is going to cost somewhere around $30,000!!

Gulp.

But, we are trusting that the Lord will bring in the funds and the baby He has intended for us. This is a huge hurdle for us, but a small thing for our al powerful God, who we have trusted at every turn. Last year, right around this time, we saw Him wipe out a hospital debt from Rich's cancer treatment. That amount was over $325,000, so we knew, that it would be foolish to think any sum of money could thwart God's will in our lives. Even so, we continue to balance between faith and fear, always hoping that we lean toward faith more than we entertain fear.


This past summer we had a fundraising yard sale. People from throughout the community donated items to be sold. Our garage was bursting in the weeks leading up to the event, so much so that we started piling things in the driveway during those last days. But it was amazing! We raised more than 10% of the adoption cost that weekend.

Our close friends are also adopting through the same agency, so we have been walking the road together. We all wanted to keep fundraising, but have the same group of friends and didn't want our efforts to take away from theirs and vice versa, so we decided that our next fundraiser would be done together and we would simply split the proceeds. We are all gifted musicians, so we landed on the idea of a concert and silent auction evening this December. Preparing for that event has been another way that we are building our excitement.

And that is where we are in our journey towards parenthood. Still waiting. Trusting God. Anticipating. Getting ready for baby Fodey. If you would like to be part of our story, you can visit the Go Fund Me page set up by our friends on our behalf. The link is here.

#Adoptbabyfodey

Polish Bread - Picture by Laura Jean Fesler 2008

Thank God

Worship 1.3

True worship: The continual turning toward God through every situation of trial or rejoicing in order that He would be glorified and honored and that others would come to know Him, or know Him better.

Again we will consider our above definition, this time focusing in on what it means to “turn toward God.” Last month we studied how our worship is continual and that no matter where we are or what we are doing, we are worshipping. “Turning toward God” addresses who we are giving that worship to. The truth is, we could worship any number of things, people, or even ourselves! But worship of God requires focusing in on Him.

It’s easy to get side-tracked though. We have jobs and school, bills and homework, children and responsibilities that require our time. It doesn’t take long before we are so focused on what needs to get done and how we are going to do it, that we forget that it was God who gave us the gift of work, education, family and duty to begin with. In our striving to make it to the next level, we often forget that it is God who sustains our very breath and it is God who allowed our every step.

When we consider “turning toward God”, the best place to begin is by practicing thankfulness. If we are intentionally thankful each time we see God move in our lives, then we are well on our way to continually turning toward God.

If you can, this month carry a little scratch pad that will fit easily in your pocket or purse. When you see things that you are thankful to God for, write them down. For example: “Thank you Lord for protecting my life when that driver cut me off on the freeway.” “Thank you Lord for the beauty of Your sunshine today.” It is amazing how quickly we will turn to God in the tough situations when we are already used to turning to Him through the gentle ones.

“Father, thank you for Your holiness. Thank you for Your love and grace. Thank you for Your Son and Your salvation. Thank you for Your Spirit living in us. Lord, remind us to be thankful. Amen”

Worship 1.2

Worship: The continual turning toward God through every situation of trial or rejoicing in order that He would be glorified and honored and that others would come to know Him, or know Him better.

Looking a little closer at our definition, we see that worship is continual. This means that it is always going on. No matter the situation, worship is happening. But do we treat worship as though it is constant or do we save it for our Sunday gathering and midweek studies? We all have responsibilities outside of church: work, school, families, bills, etc. So often we view these things as the “stuff that happens between worship times.” But what if we were to look at them as additional unique opportunities to offer worship to the Lord?

A couple years ago I spent the summer directing a SALT camp (Servant and Leadership Training). Basically, I spent a summer learning and teaching how to worship God through things like scrubbing Bible camp bathrooms and dirty dishes. What we found was if God is omnipresent (in every place) and if His Spirit was living in us, then really, every moment of the day provided us an opportunity to be in His presence and offer whatever we were doing in that moment to Him for His glory and honor. It didn’t matter that we weren’t in a church or singing songs, our desire was to do what we were doing for His glory, no matter how menial. Our worship was continual.

The very same thing can happen for us right here and now, in the every-day things we do. Things such as waiting in the line at the grocery store become moments where we can commune with God. Managing our finances can be an opportunity to lean on the Lord’s provision, trusting He has everything under control. The humdrum of work, even our work itself, can be offered to the Lord as worship. The point is, worship doesn’t stop when we leave the church walls or turn the Christian music down. Worship is happening at all times. Worship is continual.