Adopt Baby Fodey

Safari colors and Elephants! :)

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby locally. Well, "in the process" meaning we submitted our application months ago and and are just waiting for our turn to hop in the "pool" of parental candidates. So, how does a couple keep their enthusiasm high when they haven't heard anything from their agency in months? We work on our nursery and get to work collecting the baby things we will need.

Because getting into the pool will require many meetings and paperwork and a large amount of money paid to the agency, it will be no surprise when we finally get into the pool. From there though, we could get a call at any moment. So we recently decided to take some of the stress off by getting a lot of the baby things we will need now, that way we can focus entirely on our new bundle when he or she comes, rather than, "Eeek, we don't have a car seat for the ride home!"or, "I sure wish we had put the crib together before now..."

I am a planner. It is no secret. I like to have a plan...for everything! I.E. my wedding: I had a timeline mapped out for the family and helpers so everyone knew what was happening at what times and for what durations. Alas, as my uncle pointed out, I had not included bathroom breaks! Next time!!! (j/k). Anyway, my point is I like having a plan; it helps me relax. So here I am, no baby in sight, but surrounded by baby items and pinning to my "baby care" board like nobody's business.

But it wasn't always like this. Although we made the decision to adopt 7 months back, and put our application in 4 months ago, just one month ago I was not willing to even look towards the baby section in stores, let alone go into them. I felt like, "that isn't for me. Not yet, that is for expectant mothers and I am just adopting. I'm not pregnant. I'm broken. If I go in there, I will feel like a faker, like I am trying to fit in to the moms club, but am not one." So, I always made sure not to drive my cart anywhere near the baby section of any store, that way I would not have to hear those words ring through my mind so loudly.

That was my reality until one day a lady heard that my husband and I were adopting, and that we didn't know when for sure it would happen. She looked at me and said, "You know this is your pregnant time, right?" I shook my head and gave a rather quizzical look, so she continued, "You are expecting a baby. You don't know anything about your baby yet, just that you will have a baby! You may not be carrying him or her in your body, but you are expecting."

This was a shocking thought to me. Here I hadn't been letting myself even go into a baby section and this woman is telling me I am "pregnant." I pondered on this for about a week. My mom didn't have a car right then and asked if I would take her shopping. We ended up at the Walmart super center and since she was going to take a while, I told her she could find me in "house goods" later. I had every intention of going there, but my feet took me to "infants" instead. I looked at bottles and pacifiers and a storm was raging inside me. "Get out! You don't belong here! Someone will see you, you faker!" and "But she was right, we are expecting. Expecting parents prepare for their baby. I do belong here....

I do belong here!"

AND, that's when the tears started. And they didn't stop for a very...long...time. I filled my cart with bottles and pacifiers and bibs and outfits and blankets and and and... Then another thought came: I can have a baby shower! Even though we don't know if we will have a boy or girl, we can still have a shower to help us celebrate and prepare for the baby we are expecting. I was overjoyed....and more tears (honestly, I have tears just thinking back to this moment) and a completely new excitement welled within me; an overwhelming sense that we are expecting!!!!

From that time, the challenge has been to keep that anticipation front and center. Physical pregnancy helps with this, I think. There are the raging hormones I have read about. And the ever changing size of the baby bump. There is the kicking from within and the food cravings and the sickness. I don't have any of that. But I am a planner.

I set some goals of a weekly thing to accomplish for our baby. It started with a huge haul of cloth diapers. Next I was able to find a crib. A few friends gave us a play yard, a stroller, some bottles and toys. Last week I acquired a crib bedding set and mobile as well as some adorable clothes. Today I will have a rocking chair. And each time something new comes in for our baby, that excitement and anticipation grows. I have the names we have chosen for our littles written down so I can pray for them; a visual reminder, if not a physical reminder; that we are expecting and we are getting ready.

Another thing we are doing to keep up the enthusiasm is we are continuing to fundraise. The adoption is going to cost somewhere around $30,000!!

Gulp.

But, we are trusting that the Lord will bring in the funds and the baby He has intended for us. This is a huge hurdle for us, but a small thing for our al powerful God, who we have trusted at every turn. Last year, right around this time, we saw Him wipe out a hospital debt from Rich's cancer treatment. That amount was over $325,000, so we knew, that it would be foolish to think any sum of money could thwart God's will in our lives. Even so, we continue to balance between faith and fear, always hoping that we lean toward faith more than we entertain fear.


This past summer we had a fundraising yard sale. People from throughout the community donated items to be sold. Our garage was bursting in the weeks leading up to the event, so much so that we started piling things in the driveway during those last days. But it was amazing! We raised more than 10% of the adoption cost that weekend.

Our close friends are also adopting through the same agency, so we have been walking the road together. We all wanted to keep fundraising, but have the same group of friends and didn't want our efforts to take away from theirs and vice versa, so we decided that our next fundraiser would be done together and we would simply split the proceeds. We are all gifted musicians, so we landed on the idea of a concert and silent auction evening this December. Preparing for that event has been another way that we are building our excitement.

And that is where we are in our journey towards parenthood. Still waiting. Trusting God. Anticipating. Getting ready for baby Fodey. If you would like to be part of our story, you can visit the Go Fund Me page set up by our friends on our behalf. The link is here.

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