Now What?

Ah, there are many things up in the air right now. The biggest thing on my mind is whether or not I have enough money to continue going to school. Financial Aid hasn't come yet and in and of my self, I haven't enough funding.

The next thing is where to live. If I get to continue going to school, the question of where I will be living is still unanswered. My dorm hall has now been torn down. The school is still providing housing, we just don't know yet where. If I don't get to go back to school, I hae no idea where I am gonna go. I could try to find a room somewhere, but seriously, I only have a couple weeks till I find out about school, and then I will need to find a place in a hurry. Arg! This not knowing is driving me crazy!

Next up is my still broken heart. This one is way too complicated to get into, in fact, I don't think I understad most of it. But, its about to get even more complicated and I am at a loss as to what I should do or how I should respond...assuming a response is proper and necessary.

If all this weren't enough, my brother is thinking about moving to Spokane. He's thinking about staying too, so nothing is for sure yet. But when I think about my best friend moving all the way across this state to a town I never hope to return to, something inside me wants to cry out, "NOOOOO!!" Instead of being a manageable 2.5 hours away, he will be a long 6.5 hour drive from me.

I know all of this must sound awfully selfish. I see now how much I like things to be under control, but I have always thought that God had things under His control and would let me peek at what was going on. Now I don't even get a peek. In thinking about this I see thatalthoughI don't assume I have control over many of these circumstances, I may have enjoyed having control over the "peek". HMMM, interesting things to think over.

Well, in 2 weeks time, all these questions will be answered. I wil be praying that God will help me to endure the not knowing and accept what ever will happen. Thanks for listening.